The Holidays are Here!

   

     The Holiday seasons is here! Some will be saying hurrah, while others may be rolling their eyes as they read my blog. Whether you like it or not the holidays have arrived so lets all be mature women about this.
     The first little advice I would like to throw out is attending holiday parties or any type of holiday dinner. Never show up empty handed to a holiday engagement(in fact you should not be showing up empty handed at a dinner or party any way, but that will have to wait until another blog). You do not have to show up with a large or expensive gift but a nice jester is expected. A bottle of wine or campaign(probably the most inexpensive gift around), a pretty ornament for the tree, something sweet(cake, decadent cookies or chocolates), bubble bath, fragrant soaps, scented lotions, just something to say thank you for the evening. Even flowers are a nice touch. This is not mandatory but I would like to think that we all would like to say thank you for the hospitality in some type of way, I don't expect you to be  ungrateful when you are eating and drinking for free(I am just speaking the truth).
     The second piece of advice is about gift giving, ladies please do not drive yourself crazy looking for that perfect gift because truthfully if does not exist, I repeat it does not exist. Unless you know the person like the very back of your hand or specifically told you exactly what they want do not kill yourself over it. It is suppose to be the thought that counts(yes I know some of you might be rolling your eyes at this point)it is hard to make everyone happy and you may get your feelings hurt trying to make them happy. I suggest pick up something you like for that person and leave it at that, the other option is cash or a gift card, you can't go wrong with either one.
     The next piece of advice is just have fun this holiday. We get caught up in so many other crazy things this time of year and become self conscience and then comes those New Years Resolutions that we cheat on and feel even worse. This is not the time of year for that, instead be the person you are comfortable being(while keeping it classy) and enjoy your holiday. Let your personality shine as bright as the Christmas lights and do not let anyone take you out of your happiness.
     My final advice is just relax, don't be so hard on yourself these next 31 days. We get uptight and stressed out and it is not a good look. Love yourself enough to take timeout for just you. Draw a hot bath, read a steamy book, call timeout and watch a Christmas movie or listen to some Christmas music by yourself (I love to do both of these for peace). Do what ever you need to do for a moment to relax, in the end it is what is best for everyone to give you a little me time(if they know what is good for them).

Style vs Age

 


      I am not going to lie to you, I am a 40 year old woman who is very conscious about my clothing choices because of my age, I am also a mother of 2 teenage kids so that adds to my clothing choices. I feel that because of my age "for me" certain articles of clothing is just off limits- leggings, band t-shirts, super skinny jeans(it took some time for me to purchase my first pair of skinny jeans, my daughter talked me into it), and many other things but the list will be to long to highlight. Here is the flip side of that, wearing clothing that is considered to old(my button down sweaters, certain styles of shoes, granny panties). While I can find clothing for me in just about any store, I feel that I have to keep it age appropriate but what does that really mean?
    Continuing from a conversation with my co-workers how do you determine what is really age appropriate. My co-worker made a comment that if her mother agrees with her clothing choice then there was a chance that she was wearing something more fitting for an older woman. I like browsing through stores like INC. or The Limited, however I don't come out with very much when I shop there. I purchase clothing for work purposes but nothing for my weekend attire. I can find cute tops for the weekends at stores like Charlotte Russe.These types of stores would be considered for younger ladies but I like the some of their styles. Does it make me wrong to wear younger looking clothes?
    I say it is all in your head, and the confidence you have in yourself. Now, let me clarify because we have all seem some woman who are wrong on so may levels for their clothing choices, and we see them at the malls, grocery stores, and at the kids schools. The line between age appropriate, and inappropriate clothing choices is thin.......
    As woman we know deep down inside when our clothing is to tight, to revealing, to young looking for our ages, and we ignore the signs because we want the attention(just being truthful). Woman feel they can hold onto their younger years by wearing clothing that our daughters, or nieces may wear for examples clothing with words written across your butt(I am sorry but words don't belong there at any age), crop tops(I wore those in the 90's which means late teens, early 20's), or any other clothing that can purchased at stores like 579 or Forever 21.
    Just because we become older does not mean we loss our style, it has just changed a little. You can still wear sexy clothing without over doing it, we don't have to become buttoned up stuffies.Your style is suppose to evolve with your age, not disappear. It is very easy to take a pair of nice jeans and pair it with a sexy top, wear a maxi dress with a deep neckline,or casual pants with blouse that has a sexy neckline. With our age comes wisdom to dress, and accentuate our bodies while keeping age appropriate based on the confidence and level of comfort you have within yourself. Your age does not dictate your style, your confidence in yourself does, and we all know confidence is the sexiest part of a woman.

STYLE

 

 Ladies does your age(30's, 40's, 50's), or your title(mom, grandmother, wife) dictate your style?
Do we allow certain categories determine what our clothing style is or what is considered age appropriate? I had a great conversation at work that I wanted to share with you.
    I feel that the way a person dress says a lot about them, but sometimes it seems that your style of clothing could be deceiving to others, I will explain. For some ladies their style of clothing makes them appear older than what they may be. It hides there sex appeal, conceals their beauty and labels them. Their clothing styles don't bring out the best in their style or beauty. Take myself for example, I wear a lot of button down sweaters for 2 reasons. First reason, I am always cold so my sweaters keep me warm especially at work because I am in an office environment. The second reason is that I like sweaters, they are cute, versatile, and come in many colors, and styles to be worn with just about anything. A comment was made to me by my husband as well as my boss about my choice of clothing(sweaters), it was pointed out to me that they are older looking and not as appealing as I thought they were. I have never thought of it that way, I just thought of them as being cute, and warm. This got me to thinking, how many of us wear clothing out of comfort not realizing that we are hiding or sacrificing that sexy part of ourselves.
    Now of course I could not have a blog titled Getting to Sexxy, without working on myself as well. I am not perfect and want to enhance my sexy side and continue to grow, love, and show off the beautiful woman I believe myself to be. I am a work in progress just like any other woman. We all want to be beautiful, sexy, empowering women who command attention(at least I do). I am open to feedback because sometimes others can see what you do not. My solution will be to up my wardrobe choices and look for blazers and jackets instead of my go-to sweater assortment. I took advice earlier this year and wear more heels to work instead of my go-to flats. I am still evolving and loving it.
     Do you feel like you have become to comfortable in your style? I have learned that sometimes we dressed according to what we believe is accurate based on our ages, our jobs, or our titles. Just because you are a stay-at-home mother does not mean sweats and no make-up is your uniform. A hospital worker does not have to limit their clothing to gym shoes, and scrubs or loose fitting clothing for comfort on their days off. I feel we all should step up our game, and evolve. By nature we are creatures of habit, but sometimes those habits can hinder us. Start stepping out of your box, whether it is switching from cotton panties to lace, or waking up putting on makeup with no place to go, start changing the way you do things and the way you see yourself.

Beauty on a Budget

MAC, Lancome,and Este Lauder have great products but beyond my budget some times, and that's OK. I love to walk through stores such as Sephora and Ulta looking at makeup colors and products but, my purchases are made at CVS, Walgreen, Wal-Mart, and Target.

Maybelline is my go to for mascara, I use Maybelline Colossal Volume. I have tried many brands that  lengthen, volumize, and curl your lashes but,  nothing compares to Maybelline Colossal Volume. Maybelline also has a good eye shadow pot, I am a big fan of cream shadows, and the Color Tattoo by Maybelline Eye Studio is a long-lasting color. I currently have Tough as Taupe, and can't wait to try the Leather eye shadow versions this fall. Cover Girl's Bombshell eye shadow are little tubes of shimmering color. Platinum Club and Cooper Fling can be applied lightly for work purposes or heavy for a night out.

To say I have a vast collection of lipsticks might be an understatement. Loreal, Revlon, and Cover Girl all work for me and I have to many colors to list. My lip gloss choice may surprise you. I love NYC Liquid Shine in New York Nude, Bowery Blush, and my latest color Honey on the Hudson. They have great shine and lasting color. I love neutral shades and these colors work with my complexion.

The purpose of this blog is to share, and let you know some great make-ups products are affordable, and do not have to put a hole in your pocket. If you are curious about what the higher end products have to offer, I suggest taking advantage of the holiday season and purchasing gift sets. NARS has some great ones, as well as many department store brands. This way you get a little more for your money, and more varieties in your purchase. Beauty Supplies stores are another good place to pick-up inexpensive make-up products such as lip and eye pencils in a rainbow of colors.

The main thing is to have a little fun with your make-up, and branch out to new things. The holidays are coming so it is the perfect time to experiment while finding some great deals, and specials on make-up.

So, tell me what are your make-up favorites?

The Scent of a Woman

     As a woman we can't help but love fragrant smells. They can make you feel sexy, happy, and even confident. There is a reason perfumes, oils, and lotions have been around for centuries, they are an extension of you. They can remind people of your presence(especially your man). They draw attention(the good kind), and they blend in with your personal body chemistry to create a fragrance that is unique to you.
     I understand that some women can not wear perfumes because of reactions such as headaches. This does not mean you can not wear any this just means you have to focus on lighter scents or other types of scented items. Start off with scented lotions instead, let Bath and Body works be a starting point, actually this store is my go to spot of choice. Walk around a do a little smelling, find scents that appeal to your senses. Perfumes and fragrant lotions are broken down into 5 categories: Fruity/Citrus, Clean, Floral, Sweet, and Spicy. I like floral scents and sometimes sweet scents, on my husband I love a clean scent. Find the scent that works best for you, and it may not be the scent your mother has worn or your girlfriend because with perfumes they adjust to your body chemistry. You may pick up something that smells good in the bottle but when you spray it on it smells nothing the tester strip version. It will take some time to get it right. I suggest stores such as Bath and Body Works and Victoria Secret as your starting point, they have a range of selections to sniff through.
     I feel every woman should be wearing some kind of fragrance, it is only natural. It does not have to be expensive, and please not over the top(your fragrance should not be chocking you cubicle neighbor, or the person at the desk down the hall, this will be a topic for another time). Think about everything we pick up in the drugstores are fragrant, soaps, lotions, and deodorants. That is telling you that our scent is a powerful thing(only when it is a good scent, again a topic for another day), so why not find something for you, and no the scent from the Jergens Lotion, or your Secret Deodorant

does not count.

Ladies having your own unique fragrant scent is part of being sexy, so go out and find yours, and if you have one I would love for you to share it to give other women some ideas.

Sexy Thoughts

     Ladies, it is time to act on our impulses. In your mind have you planned that special night with your significant other. Slow music, candles lit, a little R&B slow jam to set the mood. You know where I am going with this, but in the end it don’t work out for any number of reasons. I have learned to get past the planning and just do it. We tend to get in our own way by over thinking things. Keep it simple, light some candles, and watch a movie together. Run a bath and text your lover with an invitation to join you(add a photo for persuasion). Pick up a bottle of Champagne and a pizza, take your food and drinks to the bedroom while the kids enjoy their dinner in front of the television. Get creative, a little romance is better than none at all especially when you have kids. Why do all this work to get to sexy if you don’t share your results with your man.

     Now the reason I can speak on this topic is because I have been married for 16 years.  I have tried and failed at plenty attempts to plan “THE PERFECT ROMANTIC NIGHT”, Ladies when I tell you to keep it simple and just let everything flow, that is exactly what I mean. I could share with you some crazy stories, but my husband would kill me for telling so lets just say, I have learned from my errors and today I can proudly say it is OK to try and try again until you find that level of romance that you are both happy with. For some it will be tapered candles, with a fireplace, and 5 course meal, while with others it can be a simply enjoying each others company over a bottle of wine. The goal is private time together however that can be accomplish.

Learning from Our Past

Have you ever looked at old photographs of your grandparents, I mean really looked at them. Our grandmothers were classy divas. They wore heels and dresses every day with full makeup. They dressed for their men and wore makeup to just go to the store. When they left their homes they looked like they were going out for a night, even if they were going to the store. There was grace, glamour, and an allure to them. Many of them still dress that way, our grandmothers get dolled up to just go to the doctor’s office or the bank. So why is it that some of us did not inherit that “glam” gene?

        I have always been the girly girl, and if you know me or have met some of the women from my family you would know why. I see young women today who wear scarves wrapped around their heads(unattractively), shopping at the grocery store in pajama pants(who ever started this trend should be flogged), and hair looking undone, and a mess(with weave and without). When did it become OK for women to present themselves this way? The sad thing is that our young ladies are looking this way, so what does that say for these women of our future.

The days of our grandmothers fashions may be gone, but we can still learn a lot from that old glamour. Their poise, grace, and fashion sense is one for the ages. Maybe by observing these woman today, our own preservation of glam, grace, and beauty will be what we someday pass on to our granddaughters.

After the Big Chop

                                                  I have noticed many women have taken the plunge into going natural(kudos to you!), but what I have observed is that just because you go natural does not mean your hair care routine should lax. Going natural does not necessarily mean you ignore your hair care. I have observed first hand that going natural means in my opinion stepping up your hair maintenance. Just because you are natural dos not mean picking your hair and go.

                   Natural hair styles require patience and hair styling know how. The first thing is finding the right products for your specific hair texture, yes hair texture because there are many types and just because the kinky curl crème  works for your cousins hair does not mean it will do your hair justice. So finding the right products are essential, and maybe costly(but anything we do as women will require money being spent to maintain). The next thing is maintaining your natural look, and cut. My ladies with the short cuts, you must go to a barber for your line ups and edgings, please don’t think out-of-sight means out-of-mind. Even though your hair is cut short you still have to maintain the integrity of your cut. Lining, edging, and scissor trims are important, just ask your man. To my ladies with the median length hair I love the different twist hairstyles but I am learning they also take time, and practice to perfect. Going natural does not provide an excuse to have dry, uneven, uncombed hair. Taking the big chop is huge, so make sure you will have the know how to maintain your hair.

I applaud the ladies who have dared to go natural….

My Lessened Learned

      Some time a new look can go wrong, I love the winged eye look. I have been trying to perfect the look for a few days, and finally achieved my winged eye look. I decided to wear my new look to work on Friday. I was feeling under the weather, but was not going to look like it. I paired new eye look with my Loreal lipstick, Silverstone. I felt cute and was pleased with my new look. So, imagine my surprise when I returned home from work Friday evening and one of my wings were gone. I had a winged out right eye but nothing on the left, the little wing was gone. When and how did this happen? So much for being cute....
      While I was excited about trying something new from my beauty magazines, I know not all makeup looks can be easily pulled off. The bold lip colors that are on display on glossy pages are gorgeous(the bold Coral Tattoo color by Loreal is calling my name), and the brightly colored liquid eyeliners are intriguing but I think I am just going to continue wearing and doing what works for me.  While trying new makeup techniques, colors, and products are a learning process, I have learned that just because it is the latest trend in the end the trend may not work best for you/me.
      Now this does not mean I may not try something new technique, products, or colors in the future because we all know as women we are a sucker for all things new and or cute. I will continue to flip through my magazines monthly checking out new looks, trends, and products because that is what I do. I will just be more mindful of my new looks, and trying them out in public, so back to the drawing board with my winged eyes.     

Own Your Sexxy

  

We Are Not the Same

     Ladies we all have different taste, and that’s what makes us unique. There is nothing about us that is cookie cutter. Our hair, our eyes, our bodies are beautiful and unique so why wouldn’t our style be any different. My sexiness is catered specifically for me. My style, my makeup, my attitude is all part of my sexiness and I own it. Do you own your sexiness?
Use the tools before you to discover what you are hiding, try new things like make-up, hair styles, clothing or colors. Lets experiment with ourselves and flaunt that other side. This is only the beginning of our journey.
     As we grow we all change, and that is a wonderful thing. Some of us are just developing that sexy side while others have just about perfected it. Take a look at yourself and embrace what you see, own it, love it and flaunt it. Be uniquely you.

Our Secret

     Ladies lets discuss our secret, the intimate undergarments we wear between our skin and clothing. The key to  great fitting clothing is proper undergarments, and there are many of us that treat these unmentionables as the least important because they are hidden from the public, but do you realize your sexiness starts with these delicate pieces of fabric.

Take a look at your pantie drawer(and if you don’t have one shame on you), Those delicate pieces of cotton, lace, and satin starts your day every time, and should be top priority. Now, I am not going to get into which cut is the most appealing but what I will say is that the less material the better(wink). Every woman should own a black thong, it is a clothing essential to your wardrobe, but this does not mean show it off in public. We should not be looking at your secret when you bend over to pick up a quarter. If you are a full coverage kind of lady then wear materials that still look sexy like lace. Stretch lace panties are cute in any size or style.


Our next garment is that trusty contraption that keeps the girls up and perky. I have a few suggestions for this topic. #1 please get sized at least once in your adult life. Go to a professional and allow them to pull out that magical tape that tells you what you really are and not what you have been guessing since they grew in. #2 Purchase good quality bras if you are heavier busted, we A and B cup girls can get away with purchasing less expensive bras with thinner straps, others can not and should not. #3 Invest in a convertible bra and purchase clear bra straps to go along with it. You will thank me later.

                                                                                                                                                                                           I love camisoles they are my go to little piece of undergarment that goes underneath any type of top from a T-shirt to a sheer blouse. The come in many different styles and are a good investment. Another must have is a body suite, they are perfect to wear under summer dresses that are long, thin or flowey. They are intended to keep a smooth silhouette.


The last articles of intimates may be items you don’t think of but they are a necessity. The slip is still an important staple to dresses because of the martials of some dress, and yes I am talking about the ones our grandmothers wore. You should have one in your drawer just in case. The final item is shape wear, it is something we all should have tucked away in the back of our drawer because the purpose of shape wear is to smooth it all out. It gives the illusion of our perfectly sculpted body, just the way we wish they were.

Walk That Walk

     

     Men will notice a great walk, head held high, back straight, and a confident sway of the hips. If you need a visual let me refer you to season 1 of Americas Next Top Model. Ms. Jay can show you how to walk that walk like no one else. For me I am better at my walk in flats then in heels because, I am more at ease in flats. I wear wedged sandals during the summer so I can strut my stuff in those, but I can definitely do my thing in flats. Please do not think or feel that sexy is about wearing 4 to 6 inch heels because it really is not. Walking the walk is done with confidence and a sex appeal that you feel on the inside.


     I have seen many women walking down the street or through the malls, and struggling to pull it together in heels. Why? where is it written that you have to be in platforms to bring out your sexy side? Now don’t get me wrong I know men love to see a woman in a great pair of heels strutting her stuff like she is on a catwalk but believe me you can get your sexy on in a pair of ballerina flats as well. Hell you can do it in a pair of gym shoes or tennis shoes, your walk is what you want to showcase with confidence no matter what shoe you are wearing. Practice will make it perfect. I am not suggesting that you should strut your stuff when you are walking around the house, unless your man is watching then by all means put on a show but the more you practice the more natural it becomes and looks. Before you know it you will be turning the heads of many while walking that walk.