Sexy Thoughts

     Ladies, it is time to act on our impulses. In your mind have you planned that special night with your significant other. Slow music, candles lit, a little R&B slow jam to set the mood. You know where I am going with this, but in the end it don’t work out for any number of reasons. I have learned to get past the planning and just do it. We tend to get in our own way by over thinking things. Keep it simple, light some candles, and watch a movie together. Run a bath and text your lover with an invitation to join you(add a photo for persuasion). Pick up a bottle of Champagne and a pizza, take your food and drinks to the bedroom while the kids enjoy their dinner in front of the television. Get creative, a little romance is better than none at all especially when you have kids. Why do all this work to get to sexy if you don’t share your results with your man.

     Now the reason I can speak on this topic is because I have been married for 16 years.  I have tried and failed at plenty attempts to plan “THE PERFECT ROMANTIC NIGHT”, Ladies when I tell you to keep it simple and just let everything flow, that is exactly what I mean. I could share with you some crazy stories, but my husband would kill me for telling so lets just say, I have learned from my errors and today I can proudly say it is OK to try and try again until you find that level of romance that you are both happy with. For some it will be tapered candles, with a fireplace, and 5 course meal, while with others it can be a simply enjoying each others company over a bottle of wine. The goal is private time together however that can be accomplish.

Learning from Our Past

Have you ever looked at old photographs of your grandparents, I mean really looked at them. Our grandmothers were classy divas. They wore heels and dresses every day with full makeup. They dressed for their men and wore makeup to just go to the store. When they left their homes they looked like they were going out for a night, even if they were going to the store. There was grace, glamour, and an allure to them. Many of them still dress that way, our grandmothers get dolled up to just go to the doctor’s office or the bank. So why is it that some of us did not inherit that “glam” gene?

        I have always been the girly girl, and if you know me or have met some of the women from my family you would know why. I see young women today who wear scarves wrapped around their heads(unattractively), shopping at the grocery store in pajama pants(who ever started this trend should be flogged), and hair looking undone, and a mess(with weave and without). When did it become OK for women to present themselves this way? The sad thing is that our young ladies are looking this way, so what does that say for these women of our future.

The days of our grandmothers fashions may be gone, but we can still learn a lot from that old glamour. Their poise, grace, and fashion sense is one for the ages. Maybe by observing these woman today, our own preservation of glam, grace, and beauty will be what we someday pass on to our granddaughters.

After the Big Chop

                                                  I have noticed many women have taken the plunge into going natural(kudos to you!), but what I have observed is that just because you go natural does not mean your hair care routine should lax. Going natural does not necessarily mean you ignore your hair care. I have observed first hand that going natural means in my opinion stepping up your hair maintenance. Just because you are natural dos not mean picking your hair and go.

                   Natural hair styles require patience and hair styling know how. The first thing is finding the right products for your specific hair texture, yes hair texture because there are many types and just because the kinky curl crème  works for your cousins hair does not mean it will do your hair justice. So finding the right products are essential, and maybe costly(but anything we do as women will require money being spent to maintain). The next thing is maintaining your natural look, and cut. My ladies with the short cuts, you must go to a barber for your line ups and edgings, please don’t think out-of-sight means out-of-mind. Even though your hair is cut short you still have to maintain the integrity of your cut. Lining, edging, and scissor trims are important, just ask your man. To my ladies with the median length hair I love the different twist hairstyles but I am learning they also take time, and practice to perfect. Going natural does not provide an excuse to have dry, uneven, uncombed hair. Taking the big chop is huge, so make sure you will have the know how to maintain your hair.

I applaud the ladies who have dared to go natural….

My Lessened Learned

      Some time a new look can go wrong, I love the winged eye look. I have been trying to perfect the look for a few days, and finally achieved my winged eye look. I decided to wear my new look to work on Friday. I was feeling under the weather, but was not going to look like it. I paired new eye look with my Loreal lipstick, Silverstone. I felt cute and was pleased with my new look. So, imagine my surprise when I returned home from work Friday evening and one of my wings were gone. I had a winged out right eye but nothing on the left, the little wing was gone. When and how did this happen? So much for being cute....
      While I was excited about trying something new from my beauty magazines, I know not all makeup looks can be easily pulled off. The bold lip colors that are on display on glossy pages are gorgeous(the bold Coral Tattoo color by Loreal is calling my name), and the brightly colored liquid eyeliners are intriguing but I think I am just going to continue wearing and doing what works for me.  While trying new makeup techniques, colors, and products are a learning process, I have learned that just because it is the latest trend in the end the trend may not work best for you/me.
      Now this does not mean I may not try something new technique, products, or colors in the future because we all know as women we are a sucker for all things new and or cute. I will continue to flip through my magazines monthly checking out new looks, trends, and products because that is what I do. I will just be more mindful of my new looks, and trying them out in public, so back to the drawing board with my winged eyes.     

Own Your Sexxy

  

We Are Not the Same

     Ladies we all have different taste, and that’s what makes us unique. There is nothing about us that is cookie cutter. Our hair, our eyes, our bodies are beautiful and unique so why wouldn’t our style be any different. My sexiness is catered specifically for me. My style, my makeup, my attitude is all part of my sexiness and I own it. Do you own your sexiness?
Use the tools before you to discover what you are hiding, try new things like make-up, hair styles, clothing or colors. Lets experiment with ourselves and flaunt that other side. This is only the beginning of our journey.
     As we grow we all change, and that is a wonderful thing. Some of us are just developing that sexy side while others have just about perfected it. Take a look at yourself and embrace what you see, own it, love it and flaunt it. Be uniquely you.

Our Secret

     Ladies lets discuss our secret, the intimate undergarments we wear between our skin and clothing. The key to  great fitting clothing is proper undergarments, and there are many of us that treat these unmentionables as the least important because they are hidden from the public, but do you realize your sexiness starts with these delicate pieces of fabric.

Take a look at your pantie drawer(and if you don’t have one shame on you), Those delicate pieces of cotton, lace, and satin starts your day every time, and should be top priority. Now, I am not going to get into which cut is the most appealing but what I will say is that the less material the better(wink). Every woman should own a black thong, it is a clothing essential to your wardrobe, but this does not mean show it off in public. We should not be looking at your secret when you bend over to pick up a quarter. If you are a full coverage kind of lady then wear materials that still look sexy like lace. Stretch lace panties are cute in any size or style.


Our next garment is that trusty contraption that keeps the girls up and perky. I have a few suggestions for this topic. #1 please get sized at least once in your adult life. Go to a professional and allow them to pull out that magical tape that tells you what you really are and not what you have been guessing since they grew in. #2 Purchase good quality bras if you are heavier busted, we A and B cup girls can get away with purchasing less expensive bras with thinner straps, others can not and should not. #3 Invest in a convertible bra and purchase clear bra straps to go along with it. You will thank me later.

                                                                                                                                                                                           I love camisoles they are my go to little piece of undergarment that goes underneath any type of top from a T-shirt to a sheer blouse. The come in many different styles and are a good investment. Another must have is a body suite, they are perfect to wear under summer dresses that are long, thin or flowey. They are intended to keep a smooth silhouette.


The last articles of intimates may be items you don’t think of but they are a necessity. The slip is still an important staple to dresses because of the martials of some dress, and yes I am talking about the ones our grandmothers wore. You should have one in your drawer just in case. The final item is shape wear, it is something we all should have tucked away in the back of our drawer because the purpose of shape wear is to smooth it all out. It gives the illusion of our perfectly sculpted body, just the way we wish they were.

Walk That Walk

     

     Men will notice a great walk, head held high, back straight, and a confident sway of the hips. If you need a visual let me refer you to season 1 of Americas Next Top Model. Ms. Jay can show you how to walk that walk like no one else. For me I am better at my walk in flats then in heels because, I am more at ease in flats. I wear wedged sandals during the summer so I can strut my stuff in those, but I can definitely do my thing in flats. Please do not think or feel that sexy is about wearing 4 to 6 inch heels because it really is not. Walking the walk is done with confidence and a sex appeal that you feel on the inside.


     I have seen many women walking down the street or through the malls, and struggling to pull it together in heels. Why? where is it written that you have to be in platforms to bring out your sexy side? Now don’t get me wrong I know men love to see a woman in a great pair of heels strutting her stuff like she is on a catwalk but believe me you can get your sexy on in a pair of ballerina flats as well. Hell you can do it in a pair of gym shoes or tennis shoes, your walk is what you want to showcase with confidence no matter what shoe you are wearing. Practice will make it perfect. I am not suggesting that you should strut your stuff when you are walking around the house, unless your man is watching then by all means put on a show but the more you practice the more natural it becomes and looks. Before you know it you will be turning the heads of many while walking that walk.

   

Finding Your Fashion Identity

  

            I believe the best thing a woman can do is shop by herself, why? because this is how you find your fashion identity. When you shop with others you may feel rushed, you may feel pressured to buy clothing that is not your style, or you may just feel confused at what is right for you because your girlfriend style is completely opposite of what might be your style. The results, a closet full of items with the tags still on that is really not your taste at all.

        When you are in stores take your time and really look around. If the style of clothing you are looking for is not at that particular store then move on. Do not torture yourself by just grabbing anything to make a purchase just because you are in that particular store. All stores are not the same, and they cater to different types of shoppers according to their merchandise. Keep looking, this is why I suggest shopping alone. The women that you envy that can dash in grab something and dash out are the ones that know their style, where to shop for their taste in fashion, and knows what looks good on them. This can be you but it will take baby steps to get there.
        Online shopping is another option, but you have to know what looks good on you, your sizes, and your taste in clothing and material because you are not looking at the clothing in person. I love shopping online but I don’t do it on just any website. I have a selected few that I can go online, make a purchase and know exactly what I am getting every time.
Take your time, take your patience, and take no one other than yourself when you really need to shop. Girlfriends are cool to window shop with and purchase shoes and handbags but taste in clothing differ and if you really want to find your fashion style then shop alone, at least until you develop it.